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Post by Byson on Feb 7, 2009 13:23:35 GMT -5
Post feedback, ask for feedback, do it all here! This is a great way to have people help you improve on any aspects of this efed.
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Post by Byson on Feb 9, 2009 16:59:18 GMT -5
I just wanna give some feedback to everyone so far.
Chase McDaniels: Good stuff, you talked about your match & your opponents, which was your best part, but I would try and give some form of detail besides that. It's ok to talk about other things/help us to get to know the character.
Lucan: Good character, very dark stuff, which is very creative. But I would also take a note form Chase if I were you & talk a little more about your actual match.
Jimmy: It's a start, I can see how the character is, which is good. But you can do a lot more with it. Try to make your RP's longer, think about stuff to say. Your character is VERY promising.
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Post by Byson on Feb 11, 2009 14:53:32 GMT -5
Walker: Good stuff from Walker Sullivan this week, he is really a very good face, but I know there can be more too him. More personality traits to give him some uniqueness.
The Kneeling Disciple: I get it, you killed someone on the moon, the exact thing I said NOT to do in your RP. It was humorous & entertaining. I have seen a lot of comedic characters in efeds, so I have no problem with it. But you really need to balance the comedy & talking about the match better. Because your points are in your match, not in your jokes.
Ronald Williams: The first RP cracked me up, though it worried me that you wouldn't ever be serious. Your 2nd RP proved me wrong. You are another comedic character, which is fine. The 2nd RP really touched on wrestlers and sick/bizzare comedy. I don't have a problem with it, like I said, I will not stop anyone from being creative. Good 2nd RP! Big step up, if you continue making step ups you will be top of the line.
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Post by Reid Anderson on Feb 11, 2009 15:55:11 GMT -5
I have to say to Ronald Williams that I've been in feds with funny characters, and so far I think you beat all of them in the humor department.
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Post by Byson on Feb 11, 2009 15:57:28 GMT -5
Don't encourage him, Reid!
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Post by thumbtack on Feb 11, 2009 16:22:26 GMT -5
First RP up a little sketchy as just coming back into the whole e-fed world, also a completely new character for me, enjoyed writing it a lot though which is a good thing always.
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Post by Byson on Feb 11, 2009 16:37:43 GMT -5
I liked it a lot. It certainly gave us a much better look at who he is. Though I do wish you would've talked about your opponents & match a little more. That would be my only complaint. But your writing is very proffesional & are very good at character development, which is very important.
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Post by chasemcdaniels on Feb 12, 2009 13:28:06 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback, Jerome!
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Post by Walker Sullivan on Feb 12, 2009 17:10:40 GMT -5
Yeah thanks for the feedback Jerome!
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Post by walker on Feb 12, 2009 17:47:18 GMT -5
Thanks for the advise man. Can I just post a little advise of my own. It's hard to tell whether a new post has been made on the boards because the 'no new post' and 'new post' image is the same on the front page. If you could make them different that would be great.
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Post by thumbtack on Feb 12, 2009 19:36:56 GMT -5
2nd RP posted used this one to talk more about my opponents, will finish things off with my 3rd and final RP tomorrow.
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Post by Byson on Feb 12, 2009 23:23:18 GMT -5
I will try, but if you look down at the most recent post at the bottom, it tells you if a new post has been made.
Also, the word "new" can be seen by new post. I will try to fix it, though I may not know how, haha
Hope to see you posting again soon, Jimmy!
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Post by Byson on Feb 12, 2009 23:24:41 GMT -5
And I loved your 2nd RP, Jack. No real critism to give. I am very glad you talked about you wrestlers, and loved that you're really making him seem like a person, not just a guy typing. I am buying it.
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Post by Byson on Feb 13, 2009 12:49:22 GMT -5
Great job from Ronald Williams in his third. It stuck to character, talked about the match, and WAS entertaining. All I ask is you make them a little bit longer, spend a little bit more time talking about the match & stuff. Just expand them.
Take note of Ronald (everyone). Don't get too caught up with writing mean things and arguing and proving your point. Make it entertaining & creative, that is gonna score you more points then whining about stuff.
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Post by Reid Anderson on Feb 13, 2009 15:15:31 GMT -5
Yeah I just want to say, and don't take this the wrong way. But Walker you seemed a little to uh... upset at everyone in your rp. You didn't really build anyone up in your rp, and it wasn't very creative. It just seemed like you wanted to post something, and you went to the classic rp of running down your opponents. Again don't take this the wrong way because I've thought that your rp's this week were very entertaining and good. Just my two cents anyway.
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