Post by Ronald"The Lovecraft"Williams on Apr 17, 2009 19:03:10 GMT -5
We find ourselves inside the Sporting Grounds of Denver Colorado, where a lovely ring sits in the middle of the arena. There are some slight differences though. Instead of the usual light blue ring that usually sits in the middle of the arena, it appears that a large rainbow covering lays on top of the ring resting quite nicely. The turnbuckles are their usual black and metallic selves, but on each and every post, a rainbow flag waves in the air like Old Glory herself. The ramp way is also decorated with numerous amounts of rainbows and other kinds of Rainbow-e looking materials up and down the ramp. A slight pink hits the air because of all the lights in the arena shining a light red tint into the sky. The crowd sits in confusion at why everything looks so amazingly bright and colorful, a new wrestler perhaps? Absolutely not, because "You Get Skeeted On" starts playing throughout the arena and the crowd is quick to get on their feet and start booing with immense hatred of the man who is walking down the ramp. Ronald Williams is shaking hands with people who aren't even there and the people who he could actually shake hands with are staying as far away from the man as possible. Ronald extends his middle finger to one fan who holds a sign that says "Where's your title now, bitch?". Surprisingly enough, following right behind Ronald is a small white corgi, wearing a pink sweater with the name Winston written upon it. Ronald seems to have gotten his dog back, but knowing him, he probably isn't going to tell us how he did it. Ronald steps into the ring with a microphone in hand and waits for the audience to subside before he begins his tirade on whatever the hell he is about to talk about.
"Ahem. Today is a very special day for many people around the world. Today is a day where we open our eyes to a serious problem going around our nation. Today is April 17th, 2009. Today, is the Day of Silence. Today is a day where all the faggots in the world all join together to SHUT THE FUCK UP for a day. I have to say, it's by far my favorite holiday that any gay person has ever come up with, almost as good as MLK day. So anyway, the reason this holiday exists is because last year, a kid named Carl Walker-Hoover, who was 11 at the time, hung himself because he was called a homosexual and all of those fantastic names. If you would please look up at the Titontron you can look at the little beast."
Ronald Williams points to the Titontron to have an image of a small African American boy placed in the center of the screen. The small boy is wearing football pads and the number 47 on his Jersey. He looks a lot like this :
So there ya go, now you know what he looks like, let's continue with the evilness that is Ronald Williams
"That's right, this niglet wasn't even beaten up or anything, he wasn't killed or anything terrible like that, he was MADE FUN OF. The kid didn't identify as gay, but I'm pretty sure only a faggot would kill himself because he was made fun of. I guess that anyone who was gay for him were in luck, because I'm sure they'd prefer their man to be 'WELL HUNG'!"
Ronald strikes a pose and smiles at the audience waiting for a snicker. The audience boos loudly and throws many object at Ronald, such is the custom when Ronald stands in the ring. Ronald laughs to himself and just shrugs off the immense hate that I mentioned earlier. He begins walking back and forth in the ring and hold the microphone up to his mouth.
"So, every gay person around the nation is uniting to speak up against oppression by...not saying anything. I kinda like it better that way though, honestly. It's not like those gays could talk anyway when they always have their mouths full. Now, the reason I bring this up is because this Sunday, in this very arena that I am standing in, I am going to be fighting a bunch of faggots. I am going to be against a bunch of people who get all bent out of shape over a couple of insults and are 'Training to fight the hardest they possibly can' against the oppressive nature of the 'ignorant straight people'. There is nothing wrong with being straight. In fact, being straight is normal. The faggots back stage don't seem to understand this. As they are in the back of this arena being homo-sack-wraps, I am in this arena to speak the truth. The truth is this. Gay people aren't as good as I am because they suck dick. That's all there is to it. They suck big ol' penis. The people in my match this Sunday suck balls and gobble dick slips. No lie. And I believe that gay people shouldn't get what they want just because they suck on balls and nibble dick slips. That's the problem with gay people. They think that just because they're gay that everything is going to work out in their favor. They think that if they work their hardest and speak their mind and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try again, that they will make a difference in the world. That is where the humor is. None of the people I am going to face this Sunday are going to have a shot, because while they're sucking dick and trying to make the world a more tolerant place, I am over here planning my pussy pounding adventure of prestige and plausible plays to keep me placed in the Standing Man of The Last Category Match. They train for nothing. I'm going to sit back, relax, and watch them fight. I'm not even going to get the final pin, I promise you. I'm going to sit and let everyone outside the ring do the pin for me. I am gonna' gain my victory the same way I always do. I'm going to let the gays and homos touch all over each others bodies, and once one of them gets knocked in the corner, I'm going to do what any straight guy would do. I'm gonna hit them right in the mouth with the Rod Of Justice! I'm going to rub my junk all over their faces and make them feel the wrath of what a straight pussy poundin' peniel feels like pushing on their pouting little lips."
The crowd is confused, but still angry, at the fact that Ronald is calling everyone gay, when his finisher involves placing his penis in other people's faces. Ronald seems oblivious to this fact and just continues to motion his dick in the air as if he is hitting his opponent with his finisher. Winston jumps up and down excitedly barking like a mad little Chihuahua. Because chihuahuas are mostly known for being the loudest and most obnoxious of the breeds of dogs. It's a joke.
"Sure, a lot of the people backstage may sit their looking at their screens jacking off and being all pissed off thinking 'This guys is so cheap, all he does is cheat and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!' Okay, that's wonderful, but I've heard that shit before. You can call me whatever you want. Call me a coward, call me a weakling, call me a pussy. It honestly doesn't matter what you say or how the fuck you say it, because Sunday at MSLLE I am goin' to be the one standing in the ring with the last man, and out of us two last men standing I will be the one who will be the last one out of the last one standing, so fuck you. You are all nothing but a bunch of Carl Walker-Hoovers in my honest opinion. You're nothing more than just another black little homo that is better off killing himself. And for all the queers I'm facing this Sunday I have one last thing to say for you. EVEN A FAGGOT WITH 24's CAN GET SKEETED ON!"
His entrance music plays again and he walks out of the arena in a shower of boos. He smiles and waves at all the people who hate him. Behind him follows Winston, who didn't really do anything very important in this segment, but at least it's good to know that she's okay, regardless of the fact that she came out of nowhere. The camera fades out on a rainbow flag that is standing on a turnbuckle waving as if to say 'you come back here you homophobic bastard and say that to my face!'. Of course, flags can't talk, so that's a crazy assumption to make.
"Ahem. Today is a very special day for many people around the world. Today is a day where we open our eyes to a serious problem going around our nation. Today is April 17th, 2009. Today, is the Day of Silence. Today is a day where all the faggots in the world all join together to SHUT THE FUCK UP for a day. I have to say, it's by far my favorite holiday that any gay person has ever come up with, almost as good as MLK day. So anyway, the reason this holiday exists is because last year, a kid named Carl Walker-Hoover, who was 11 at the time, hung himself because he was called a homosexual and all of those fantastic names. If you would please look up at the Titontron you can look at the little beast."
Ronald Williams points to the Titontron to have an image of a small African American boy placed in the center of the screen. The small boy is wearing football pads and the number 47 on his Jersey. He looks a lot like this :
So there ya go, now you know what he looks like, let's continue with the evilness that is Ronald Williams
"That's right, this niglet wasn't even beaten up or anything, he wasn't killed or anything terrible like that, he was MADE FUN OF. The kid didn't identify as gay, but I'm pretty sure only a faggot would kill himself because he was made fun of. I guess that anyone who was gay for him were in luck, because I'm sure they'd prefer their man to be 'WELL HUNG'!"
Ronald strikes a pose and smiles at the audience waiting for a snicker. The audience boos loudly and throws many object at Ronald, such is the custom when Ronald stands in the ring. Ronald laughs to himself and just shrugs off the immense hate that I mentioned earlier. He begins walking back and forth in the ring and hold the microphone up to his mouth.
"So, every gay person around the nation is uniting to speak up against oppression by...not saying anything. I kinda like it better that way though, honestly. It's not like those gays could talk anyway when they always have their mouths full. Now, the reason I bring this up is because this Sunday, in this very arena that I am standing in, I am going to be fighting a bunch of faggots. I am going to be against a bunch of people who get all bent out of shape over a couple of insults and are 'Training to fight the hardest they possibly can' against the oppressive nature of the 'ignorant straight people'. There is nothing wrong with being straight. In fact, being straight is normal. The faggots back stage don't seem to understand this. As they are in the back of this arena being homo-sack-wraps, I am in this arena to speak the truth. The truth is this. Gay people aren't as good as I am because they suck dick. That's all there is to it. They suck big ol' penis. The people in my match this Sunday suck balls and gobble dick slips. No lie. And I believe that gay people shouldn't get what they want just because they suck on balls and nibble dick slips. That's the problem with gay people. They think that just because they're gay that everything is going to work out in their favor. They think that if they work their hardest and speak their mind and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try again, that they will make a difference in the world. That is where the humor is. None of the people I am going to face this Sunday are going to have a shot, because while they're sucking dick and trying to make the world a more tolerant place, I am over here planning my pussy pounding adventure of prestige and plausible plays to keep me placed in the Standing Man of The Last Category Match. They train for nothing. I'm going to sit back, relax, and watch them fight. I'm not even going to get the final pin, I promise you. I'm going to sit and let everyone outside the ring do the pin for me. I am gonna' gain my victory the same way I always do. I'm going to let the gays and homos touch all over each others bodies, and once one of them gets knocked in the corner, I'm going to do what any straight guy would do. I'm gonna hit them right in the mouth with the Rod Of Justice! I'm going to rub my junk all over their faces and make them feel the wrath of what a straight pussy poundin' peniel feels like pushing on their pouting little lips."
The crowd is confused, but still angry, at the fact that Ronald is calling everyone gay, when his finisher involves placing his penis in other people's faces. Ronald seems oblivious to this fact and just continues to motion his dick in the air as if he is hitting his opponent with his finisher. Winston jumps up and down excitedly barking like a mad little Chihuahua. Because chihuahuas are mostly known for being the loudest and most obnoxious of the breeds of dogs. It's a joke.
"Sure, a lot of the people backstage may sit their looking at their screens jacking off and being all pissed off thinking 'This guys is so cheap, all he does is cheat and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!' Okay, that's wonderful, but I've heard that shit before. You can call me whatever you want. Call me a coward, call me a weakling, call me a pussy. It honestly doesn't matter what you say or how the fuck you say it, because Sunday at MSLLE I am goin' to be the one standing in the ring with the last man, and out of us two last men standing I will be the one who will be the last one out of the last one standing, so fuck you. You are all nothing but a bunch of Carl Walker-Hoovers in my honest opinion. You're nothing more than just another black little homo that is better off killing himself. And for all the queers I'm facing this Sunday I have one last thing to say for you. EVEN A FAGGOT WITH 24's CAN GET SKEETED ON!"
His entrance music plays again and he walks out of the arena in a shower of boos. He smiles and waves at all the people who hate him. Behind him follows Winston, who didn't really do anything very important in this segment, but at least it's good to know that she's okay, regardless of the fact that she came out of nowhere. The camera fades out on a rainbow flag that is standing on a turnbuckle waving as if to say 'you come back here you homophobic bastard and say that to my face!'. Of course, flags can't talk, so that's a crazy assumption to make.
